Parenting

 Welcome back to this week's blog, everyone!

This week, we explored the importance of parenting and how it significantly influences the way children behave and develop throughout their lives. Parenting styles and approaches play a foundational role in shaping a child's character, decision-making skills, and overall relationship with authority as they grow older. Interestingly, my child development class is currently covering the same topic, allowing me to connect the ideas and deepen my understanding.

One of the key lessons I've learned is the value of fostering independence in children. Allowing them to make their own decisions—within reasonable boundaries—helps them develop critical thinking skills, build confidence, and learn responsibility. In contrast, when parents are overly controlling and micromanage every aspect of their children's lives, it can lead to negative consequences. Children raised with excessive control often feel stifled and may lack the ability to navigate challenges independently. Furthermore, this controlling approach can increase the likelihood of rebellion, as children seek to assert their autonomy and individuality.

By empowering children to make choices while providing guidance and support, parents can strike a balance that nurtures their growth and equips them with tools to face the complexities of life. This concept resonates deeply with me, as it highlights how parenting practices can have long-term effects on a child's emotional and psychological well-being.

I’ve been reflecting on two examples of parenting styles, and I’m curious to hear which one you would have preferred as a kid, and how you plan to parent your own children someday.

The first example comes from my own upbringing. My parents always allowed me to make my own decisions and face the natural consequences that followed. This approach gave me room to learn from my mistakes, and it shaped me into the person I am today. I’m truly grateful for the way they raised me, though people often tell them they lucked out by having such an easygoing kid!

One specific experience stands out to me as a defining moment. It was the summer I had just gotten my driver’s license—I had barely turned 16, which, understandably, can be a nerve-wracking adjustment for parents. One night, I was out with a friend, and we lost track of time while having a sleepover. We were supposed to be home by midnight, but we rolled in around 12:30, and to make matters worse, I didn’t check in with my parents before heading to bed. That morning, my dad woke us up at 7 a.m. sharp, handed us work clothes, and set us to the task of wire-scrubbing the deck we were renovating by hand. Trust me, I learned two crucial lessons that day: never leave the car empty, and don’t miss curfew during summer when yard projects are underway!

This experience taught me the importance of natural consequences, but I also see the value in parents stepping in with specific, enforced consequences in situations where kids need more structure, like reinforcing curfew rules to ensure accountability. Striking a balance between these approaches feels critical for encouraging responsibility and independence while still providing guidance.

My second example highlights a very different parenting style, which involves making all the decisions for the child and discouraging any choices that don't align with the parents' preferences. This can often create tension and feelings of guilt in the child, as their own desires and independence are overshadowed by their parents' expectations.

The most striking example I can think of involves my cousin. They didn't really want to go on a mission and had their heart set on working and enjoying time with friends. However, the immense pressure from their parents made them feel obligated to go, even though it wasn't what they truly wanted. They went through with the mission, but when they returned home, the outcome was far from what their parents had hoped. Feeling stifled and frustrated, my cousin rebelled in ways that surprised everyone. They started partying every weekend, and gambling became a part of their lifestyle as well.

These two examples—the way my parents raised me versus my cousin's experience—are incredibly different and show how distinct parenting approaches can lead to very different outcomes. I absolutely love my cousins and respect their choices, and I'm happy for them if that's the lifestyle they truly want to live. It's not my place to judge, but their story underscores an important point: being overly controlling as a parent doesn't always lead to the results you might hope for. Sometimes, kids need the freedom to make their own mistakes and learn from those natural consequences. Overprotecting or micromanaging every decision can hinder their growth and independence.