Understanding Family Dynamics & Theories

 Welcome back to my blog, everyone!

This week in class, we dived into understanding family dynamics and theories. Some of the standout topics we covered on Tuesday included dating, exchange theory, love languages, and birth order. I was surprised by how interconnected these subjects are in ways I hadn't anticipated before.

To start, it's important to understand what exchange theory refers to. In simpler terms, exchange theory is essential. People evaluate their interactions by weighing the benefits (such as companionship, love, and support) against the costs (such as time, effort, and emotional investment) to determine whether to continue or end a relationship. To better understand this concept, Brother Williams referred to this theory as giving without expecting anything in return. This led to another student in our class asking about love languages and how they relate to exchange theory, or if they are the same concept. The Love language was introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book "The Five Love Languages." It explains and refers to how people express and show love to others around them. The five primary signs of love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

The question that was rolling through my mind was: Are they the same concept? They are not the same concept, but they both deal with interpersonal relationships. However, they do piggyback off one another in the sense exchange theory can be an example of showing your significant other that you care by representing their love language. This can also lead to you not receiving the same affection back. This example shows parts of love language and exchange theory. To dive deeper into exchange theory with this example, if you are not going to receive that same affection back from your partner, it might lead you to decide to end the relationship or keep going.

This brings me to my next topic, which I think would be beneficial for those who are dating and still searching for that special someone. During a recent class discussion, a fellow student mentioned that a relationship can be seen as an investment, and I completely agree. Investments can be rewarding, but they can also take a turn for the worse, resulting in a loss. In dating, instead of money, you can lose time.

My dad often told me and my sister (who is also dating now) that the first relationship was just practice. I agree with this sentiment because it's rare to marry the first person you date. Just like with financial investments, you want to make sure you're investing in something that will benefit you in the long run. You don't want to invest your time in something that won't help you in the future and may lead to a loss.

I often find that when my sister starts dating, I become overprotective and want to ensure the guy she is seeing is the right match for her. I think this stems partly from being the oldest in my family and having that "oldest child syndrome" where I feel the need to look out for my sibling like a parent would. As the oldest child, I typically see myself as a sort of mock parent to my siblings. For example, I was more mature than my siblings at their age. When I was 16, my parents left me home alone with my siblings for ten days while they went on vacation. During that time, I had to ensure my siblings made it to school and sports after school, as well as make sure I got to school and seminary on time. I think that your birth order can also affect who you date and who you hang out with because people will often attract people with the same interests and personalities as them.

In conclusion, understanding family dynamics and theories such as dating, exchange theory, love languages, and birth order can offer valuable insights into our relationships. Exchange theory helps evaluate the costs and benefits of interactions, while love languages highlight how we express and receive affection. Though not the same, these concepts are interconnected in meaningful ways.

As we navigate the complexities of dating and relationships, it's essential to recognize that our experiences and investments shape our future. My experiences as the oldest sibling emphasize the importance of making thoughtful relationship choices.

Being aware of these dynamics helps us foster healthier, more fulfilling connections. Thank you for joining me on this journey, and I look forward to sharing more insights in future posts.